For the last three and a half months
I have been reluctant to plan anything
in the future
because the future felt so uncertain.
Will I be well enough?
Will I even still be here?
The future felt overwhelming
so I hid away from it
and tried to live in the present –
and ended up fixating on the past.
But this is keeping me stuck
drifting aimlessly
when I need to keep moving forwards
so here I am,
making plans for November
in a promise to myself
to keep going.