There is a word used to describe me
that is accurate,
but it still hurts to hear.
I am needy.
I just love talking to people,
and I love talking to people I love.
As a teenager,
I would stay up to 4 in the morning
talking to someone,
fall asleep for two hours
then wake up at 6 for school
and continue the conversation
with no hesitation.
Sometimes I am too needy.
Interaction with those I hold dearest
is a drug to me
and I cannot seem to quit
and I have to fight off my urges to bother people
when they clearly don’t want to talk to me –
but is that true
or is that what I’m telling myself
to stop myself from being too needy
and annoying them more?
It’s a constant juggle in my brain
to satisfy my needs
without pissing off my friends.
Let them text first,
I tell myself.
But then here I am
stuck waiting for my phone to buzz.