I am manipulative with my love.
I give it so freely,
then snap back the line when someone bites
to keep people on edge at all times
because I don’t want anyone to know
where they stand with me.
I do not want to love,
I just want to be loved.
I want to be adored and worshipped
in a way that’s just not realistic
and when it doesn’t happen like how I want,
I close off the connection entirely.
I pinned all my hopes and dreams and love
on someone who told me from the start
that they would not be able to do the same
and then I got mad when they kept their word.
I don’t know why I expected to be anything special.
There was no way I was going to be The One
and yet I still hoped.
I knowingly gave my heart to someone
who I know did not want it
because at least when I get hurt
I can play the victim.