just because i get up
and go to work every day
does not mean i am coping
just because i laugh
and smile and make jokes
does not mean i am coping
just because i am making
plans for the future
does not mean i am coping
i am so tired
from dragging myself about
and ignoring the cancer
that is growing inside me
while i try and maintain
the routine and normality
that is keeping me tethered to this world
when i just want to
disappear