“You don’t look well –
are you coming down with something?”

“Yeah, it’s called
cancer!”

My words come out as a laugh
accompanied by a smile,
but for whatever reason
I did not anticipate your reaction;
your face drops,
the sparkle in your eyes
replaced with pity
or sympathy
or concern
or some other emotion
that I do not want to see right now.

I know your next words
will be laced with aspartame,
clogging up my airways and
choking me with sweetness
and contrary to the expression,
if you only have nice things to say
I would much prefer it
if you didn’t say anything at all.

“You’re so brave!”

“If you need anything…”

“I don’t understand how you’re still going,
I would just give up.”

I am trying to keep my spirits up
as I claw my way out of this pit
that is filled with endless void
and it grabs at my ankles
and tries to pull me back under
and suffocate me.

I do not need pity,
I need you to laugh with me.

– an apology to those I accidentally made uncomfortable but for the love of heck please just roast me